Super Weeding Woman

 So pretty. Such a pest!
Alkanet Flowers

Deep breath. Take off flower-patterned gardening galoshes, and do a twirl in the middle of the kitchen. Turn into Super Woman! Please, please - even if it's just for one day. Because there are arch villain weeds out there and too much Forget-Me-Not traffic for an old lady to safely cross the garden street. Or was that Super Man?

Monday 21st November

Look - here's a compromise. Forget helping old ladies - I'll settle for Super Weeding Woman, and I'll spread her out over this coming week. Here's today's plan. After the dog park (the day never starts until after the dog park) I put on superwoman gardening shorts, cotton shirt, and shoes. No socks, because the sticky bidd-bids loooooove attaching themselves to socks. And one feels terribly lazy throwing out good socks just because they've been biddi-bidded.

And here's today's list. It's super scary, so have decided to be minimal with words. Can you even begin to imagine how big that plum tree is and how much rose cane mess one mature Banksia lutea generates? And how long it might take one gardener with puny upper-arm strength to drag the pieces to the bonfire and chop into burnable bits? I am NOT looking forward to item number four.

  1. Watering.
  2. Weeding.
  3. Planting out annuals.
  4. Chopping down plum tree and Banksia rose.
  5. Burning rubbish.

And do loads of washing (sheets and towels), and hang on line, but not if the bonfire smoke is blowing that way.


I've worked my way down the Allotment Garden, removing what I can of the Alkanet and pulling out Calendulas and weeds. Now there's room to plant some tomato plants (they're waiting in pots behind the glass-house). So here's the plan. I shift the hoses, then return for a second cup of tea (I made a pot). Then I do another twirl and relaunch myself, but I find some shade in which to work. It's twenty-six degrees Celsius, rather warm for exerted weeding efforts!

Oh, I removed the burning rubbish item from the above list. It is not a good day to do this, I am not that silly, and five list items is two too many, anyway.


Just checking again. I've now completed five rather strenuous hours - I'm allowed some afternoon tea, and then one last short sharp session to clean up everything. First I pulled out heaps of weeds from the interior of the Jelly Bean Border, then I moved over to the side of the Pond Paddock.

Yellow Lamium :
Hmm... What to do with this invasive ground-cover?

Helloooo, invasive Lamium! Didn't I pull all of you out a few years ago? What to do - let you stay on the other side of the old sheep fence? Yellow flowering Lamium has no respect for such arbitrary garden boundaries.

When in doubt, take some photographs of something else, then have another cup of tea. And write about something completely different.

Like the rhododendrons. It's the late-flowering season, and the very last shrubs always suffer this too-hot nearly-summer weather. Their blooms don't last, and I can't really do anything to help (apart from rig up some giant shade umbrellas).

Tuesday 22nd November

Haven't decided what to do with the Lamium growing in the side Pond Paddock Garden, either. It is not a bridge too far - there is no such thing in this garden. Simply put, I have two choices :

  1. Ignore it completely.
  2. Eradicate it completely.

I decide which, and then move on. There can't really be any half-baked measures with this ground cover. Waste of time and energy moaning about it and bleating 'I didn't plant it. I didn't plant it. I didn't plant it. I didn't plant it.

Wednesday 23th November

Another hottie! Aha! I'm off to book group - which I am resigning from, by the way. I have just become too rebellious about reading the chosen books. What can you expect from someone who is re-reading the Famous Five series for the second time in her so-called 'adulthood'? Deep and meaningful stories set in unusual cultures can't compete with Enid Blyton's retro sexist, racist, xenophobic, classist British children's trivia. Hee hee.