Another Chelsea Flower No-Show
Old-School Statuary
OK, so the Chelsea Flower Show, the 2012 version, is on in London. It's seven years since I last 'didn't go' to Chelsea. How time flies, down here in the antipodean world, enjoying May's late autumn gardening...
'But wouldn't you looooooove to go to Chelsea?' croon my friends, amazed by the TV clips they've seen. 'You must be green with envy - all those wonderful plants and gardens...'
Excuses, Excuses...
This gets a bit awkward. Going to the Chelsea Flower Show has sadly ended up in the Not-On-My-Bucket List. I garden in New Zealand - check the globe, trace a finger right around to London, add up the considerable number of hours spent flying and waiting in airports for connections... Aargh! That's one of my excuses, anyway.
Another is the thought of sharing my garden-viewing with crowds. I'm a bit of a garden recluse. My neighbours are safely tucked away out of sight, with paddocks of separation, and I don't get many garden visitors. Now if there were such a thing as a totally private, utterly solitary Chelsea viewing...
Topiary Treats
Avoiding the Queues...
My normal gardening companions, seven cats and dog, are definitely not a crowd. If a queue should form they are easily manipulated with a gentle foot-scoop (cats) or a booming command (the dog). A thronging Chelsea crowd may not be so amenable...
It's not that I only want to look at my own garden. It's good for me to walk around other people's gardens, seeing what they get up to. It's good for me to meet other gardeners, sharing stories and swapping plants. But none of this is about visiting a Commercial Garden and Flower Show, is it? People go to Chelsea to see garden designers, to get ideas off them, to possibly see what the Queen is wearing...
Confession Time...
Confession time - it's fair to say that the Moosey Head Gardener has a deep inbuilt mistrust of garden designers. And I do find the competition for medals rather an odd concept - ranking Italianate with Wilderness, comparing Cottage with Topiary, and so on. Even the idea of a 'Show Garden' makes me a little uncomfortable. More excuses not to go to Chelsea?
Textures and Surfaces
The Plan...
But a pig-headed gardener who never leaves home runs the risk of becoming a boring gardener. So here's the plan. Someone else pays - first class airfares all the way, mellow stop-overs, spending money, the works. Then I leave my coldish, sleepy late autumn garden and make a quickish trip into early summer and the Chelsea Flower Show. As soon as I lose interest, I come home. Any philanthropists out there?
Footnote
There must be squillions of great articles written about going to Chelsea 2012, and I've written a slightly grumpy one about not going? Just between you and me I suspect the tiniest touch of envy...
The photographs on this page are of well-designed gardens I've visited close to home.