Dog in Disgrace
Dogs do unmentionable things. Sometimes? Often? In the house? In the garden? If there were demerit points for dog misdemeanours Rusty the red Border Collie would be well and truly disqualified!
Rusty the Disgraceful Red Border Collie
The following is a list of the disgraceful things that Rusty has done in just one week at Mooseys Country Garden. Apologies in advance to sensitive readers for any references they might consider rude.
Digging in the New Garden
Ooo - this is fun - newly shovelled soil. Lovely. Paw therapy, and claw therapy - plus exercise for the nose - the ultimate dog spa treatment. There's also the chance that the Head Gardener has buried something rich and aromatic. Why do humans do that? Doggone if I know - must be for tenderising and seasoning...
Knocking Over Pots
Now where has that furry bumble bee zoomed off to? Up here? Behind here? Ah ha! Leap! Crash! Ouch! What do you mean, 'Sit'? What new primroses? What did I do? It buzzed at me!
Barking at the Pigeons
Pesky pests of the upper air, floating scavengers, fluttering teases, gliding tormentors... Making that silly sound, and not even giving a dog a decent chase. Whooshing around the big gum tree all day doing circuits. Come down to ground level and we'll soon see who's faster!
Doing Natural Things on the House Lawn
Over here? By the rubbish pile? Or here, in this rough, undeveloped wilderness area, out of sight and smell? No, no! Too far away from the house. Ah - mown lawn - this is much better, and so much closer! This is where the humans walk and sit around relaxing in the grass. The perfect spot - here goes. Tail - up!
Rolling in 'It'
The word 'it' is multi-purpose, and precise details might offend some readers. Suffice it to say that whatever 'it' is, it is extremely smelly. A good dog-trick is to smear 'it' in unwashable places. Rolling in 'it' usually guarantees that the tennis ball is thrown into the pond at least five times. Yippee! Splash!
Rusty the Disgraceful Red Border Collie
Don't Forget the Good Times...
And these are the most mentionable of the unmentionables! But of course I won't forget the tender moments of dog-kindness and extreme good behaviour. And those displays of amazing dog-intelligence. Rusty! Stop eyeing Mugsy the cat while she's eating her breakfast! You know it confuses her and she wanders off. Picking on the weakest link again - what a perceptive dog!