Animal Misdemeanours
Living in a house with eight cats and a dog, sometimes things are bound to go wrong. Here's my rogues gallery of the worst Moosey animal offenders. Oops - some content may offend the shy reader.
Two Very Naughty Cats
I blush to admit this, but most of the cat misdemeanours in the Moosey house and garden involve - ahem - inappropriate piddling. Other cat owners will nod wisely - they've experienced this all too often. Some readers will argue that eight cats is at least seven too many, but that's another story! Anyway, to minimise any offence caused when discussing this indelicate subject the euphemistic phrase 'you-know-what' will be used.
Tiger is the Worst...
The worst 'you-know-whatting' cat-culprit in my house is Tiger the Tortoiseshell. For many worrisome weeks the Moosey kitchen was visited late at night by the Phantom Pantry You-Know-Whatter. Plastic bags lying on the floor were not safe. Neither was Rusty the dog's stainless steel food bowl on the kitchen floor. Aargh! Tiger!
Would You Trust This Cat?
A Grand Offence...
Then I'm ashamed to tell of frantically cleaning just minutes before the piano tuner arrived to tune the Moosey Yamaha grand... Tiger! Not in the grand piano!
And then came that awful day when the brand new flat screen TV was ruined, due to a most unspeakable type of 'you-know-whatting'. Fluff-Fluff - I'm sure that was you! The interview with the insurance assessor was - ahem - interesting...
Not My Cat!
We live in a country area which is known to have feral cats. So when a neighbour rang regarding a large fluffy ginger cat being a nuisance I just knew it couldn't be Fluff-Fluff. Not my boy Fluff-Fluff! He doesn't need to wander off across four paddocks and annoy someone else's cat. He's a gentle giant, he loves to stay home with his mother - he's a good boy...
Hmm... There's none so blind to the faults of children (and cats) as their mothers. Of course, the Moosey cats are all so well-adjusted, high in cat-self-esteem, sociable, and well-rounded (unfortunate word when discussing Tiger and Fluff-Fluff)...
Moosey Dog Caught Stealing Hens' Food
Well-fed animals shouldn't need to steal food. Tell that to Rusty the dog! He enjoys supplementing his nutritious, vet-approved diet with the following:
The hens' layer pellets...
The hens' cooked vegetables - potato peelings are particularly tasty...
The hens' mouldy bread, left-over pasta and rice...
The hens' squishy tomatoes, rotten apples, and wilted greens...
The hens' old pieces of smelly cheese...
Rusty Dog's Mug Shot
You'll have guessed that after I feed the poultry I have to be very alert. Otherwise I'll find Rusty the dog has busted into the chicken run, and six rather puzzled chooks will be watching him gulping down their yummy things. Oooh - feta cheese long past its use-by date - scrumptious!
Rusty! As you can see from his mugshot, he's a well-groomed, nicely behaved, well-trained dog...