Guys Rules...funny

16 Sep '07 2:39 pm

>> > Guys' Rules
>> >
>> > At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Finally, the guys' side of the story.
>> >
>> >
>> > We always hear "the rules" From the female side.
>> >
>> > Now here are the rules from the male side.
>> > These are our rules!
>> > Please note... these are all numbered "1"
>> > ON PURPOSE!
>> > 1. Men are NOT mind readers.
>> >
>> > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>> > You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
>> > We need it up, you need it down.
>> > You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>> >
>> > 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
>> > or the changing of the tides.
>> > Let it be.
>> >
>> > 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>> > And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > 1. Crying is blackmail.
>> >
>> > 1. Ask for what you want.
>> > Let us be clear on this one:
>> > Subtle hints do not work!
>> > Strong hints do not work!
>> > Obvious hints do not work!
>> > Just say it!
>> >
>> > 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
>> > question.
>> >
>> > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
>> > we do.
>> >
>> >
>> > Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>> >
>> > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
>> >
>> > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>> > In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
>> >
>> > 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us
>> > to act like soap opera guys.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
>> >
>> > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes
>> > you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
>> >
>> > 1. You can either ask us to do something
>> > Or tell us how you want it done.
>> > Not both.
>> > If you already know best how to do it, just do it yours self.
>> >
>> > 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
>> > commercials.
>> >
>> > 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
>> >
>> > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
>> > Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
>> > We have no idea what mauve is.
>> >
>> > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
>> > We do that.
>> >
>> > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
>> > nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
>> > hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
>> >
>> > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
>> > don't want to hear.
>> >
>> > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
>> > fine...Really.
>> >
>> > 1. Don't ask us what we are thinking, unless you are prepared to discuss
>> > hockey, the shotgun formation, or fishing.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > 1. You have enough clothes.
>> >
>> > 1. You have too many shoes.
>> >
>> > 1 I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>> >
>> > 1. Thank you for reading this.
>> > Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>> > But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

18 Sep '07 1:39 am

Hee hee! Love it, Angie!